Dear Chris Paul,
It's been said many times by many different people that you're this generation's Isiah Thomas (on the court anyways). But please don't do what Isiah did. Don't go to New York.
We've all seen the rumors, saying that James Dolan has been a moderate during NBA labor negotiations in part to let you know he's not as bad as everyone says he is. We know Carmelo Anthony has taken advantage of the fact that you've been in New York a lot this off-season because of labor negotiations. We know he's been actively recruiting you to New York. Don't take the bait. James Dolan is in fact as bad an owner as you've heard about and Carmelo Anthony and Amar'e Stoudemire won't be enough to get you that elusive ring. And whatever you do, don't listen to Zeke!
I know it's tempting. In one season, your boy LeBron James, fellow "Jumpman 23" buddy Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh got together and made it to the Finals without a ton of team chemistry and a less than stellar supporting cast. But they also had to slug it out with two top five teams in the league before they got to the Finals. They also dealt with a ton of pressure because of the way their team came together. It wouldn't be exactly the same if you went to New York (unless you crush New Orleans on national TV), but it'd still be the New York media and the pressure would be incredible.
The solution to your free agent conundrum next summer is simple. Stay in the Western Conference. While the west is more talented overall, there aren't any super teams you'd have to slug it out with year in and year out just to get to the Finals. You could stay in New Orleans, because it's been home for several years, you love the community and you mean so much to that community. But that might not be enough. People have talked about trading you to Oklahoma City for Russell Westbrook. Why wouldn't you want to team with Kevin Durant, James Harden and Serge Ibaka? But maybe Oklahoma City doesn't want to give up on Russell Westbrook. Here's a thought: Why don't you go to L.A., no not to play with Kobe's one good knee, Andrew Bynum's not at all good knees and Pau Gasol, but how about heading to the Clippers to team up with Blake Griffin, Eric Gordon and DeAndre Jordan? That sounds pretty damn appealing to me. Remember how much you liked throwing alley-oops to Tyson Chandler? Yeah, teaming with Blake Show and Jordan would be like that, only after Bruce Banner gets angry.
There's a lot of other options. Portland has LaMarcus Aldridge, Nicolas Batum & Wes Matthews. San Antonio has well, San Antonio is a great place and you should absolutely come here and join the Spurs.
You're going to have all the options in the world next year, CP3. Please don't think New York is your best option. It's not. Carmelo and Amar'e don't play defense and Mike D'Antoni has a little mustache and you just can't trust guys with little mustaches. Stay in the west. You're comfortable here and the young stars out west will keep your title window open for a very long time.
This is the most absurd article I've ever read. Remember, Chris made the toast one year BEFORE we ever thought Carmelo might become a Knick. Stoudemire mentioned it when he signed that Carmelo was on board and so was Tony Parker (Parker out of the equation with his extension for the Spurs). Chris Paul will light-up MSG and the league will be even more appealing than it is now bc Miami will still be the villain, and NY will be the hero.